stuck in the middle

I feel like a kid, you know when you're about to start middle school or high school. You feel older than what you really are, yet you are still looked at as what you were before. It's like you feel like you are stuck in this time warp in between the "fake" world and the "real" world.

I am really losing sight of what I need and how I need to do things.

School is what I live by. I count on school because it really is my only constant, but soon that will be gone. My student teaching (which feels like a real job because I spend so much time there) is real, but it seems fake.

I don't know which way to turn to, back to no responsibilities, no sight of the future; or to a future of possibilities, responsibilities and growing up.

I don't know what I want.

This feels like post-partum depression. But I don't think I can diagnose myself. I think I can just diagnose that I need Jesus