I feel like a kid, you know when you're about to start middle school or high school. You feel older than what you really are, yet you are still looked at as what you were before. It's like you feel like you are stuck in this time warp in between the "fake" world and the "real" world.
I am really losing sight of what I need and how I need to do things.
School is what I live by. I count on school because it really is my only constant, but soon that will be gone. My student teaching (which feels like a real job because I spend so much time there) is real, but it seems fake.
I don't know which way to turn to, back to no responsibilities, no sight of the future; or to a future of possibilities, responsibilities and growing up.
I don't know what I want.
This feels like post-partum depression. But I don't think I can diagnose myself. I think I can just diagnose that I need Jesus
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
End of a chapter. End of an Era
Wow. summer is over and from the time I last wrote, till now so many things have happened. I finished my last few days of the internship, moved permanently into a house about 3 blocks away from Mission Adelante with 2 other awesome girls (hopefully pictures soon), I got to see my family, spent a lot of time with Andrew, enjoyed my final days of summer vacation with awesome neighborhood kids soaking up as much time as we could being outside, running around, swimming, and being kids and now I am starting my student teaching at ME Pearson, a neighborhood school about 5 blocks away from my house...summer is over. I have turned the page and life is again DIFFERENT. For the past 5 years, my life hasn't been the same for more than about 5 months. I lived in Lee's Summit, Springfield, Midland Texas, KCMO, back to Lee's Summit and now to KCK (in 2 different locations) being constantly uprooted and moving about 12 times in the past 5 years has been super hard and it has been hard defining what home is to me.
I have discovered that its being able to relate get support and the be the ones who support your family and friends, surrounding yourself around great people who love you, care for you, and give you opportunities to serve them. I have experienced both spectrums of what I define home as, and I have come to the conclusion is that the Lord is home and I am continually homesick for him, even when I don't realize it. there is a place that I constantly long for.
I have been waiting for a long time to be at the point that I am at now, but contentment hasn't hit yet. I think this is part of the process of finishing up a rather life changing experience.
I have discovered that its being able to relate get support and the be the ones who support your family and friends, surrounding yourself around great people who love you, care for you, and give you opportunities to serve them. I have experienced both spectrums of what I define home as, and I have come to the conclusion is that the Lord is home and I am continually homesick for him, even when I don't realize it. there is a place that I constantly long for.
I have been waiting for a long time to be at the point that I am at now, but contentment hasn't hit yet. I think this is part of the process of finishing up a rather life changing experience.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Immigrants
This past weekend, Dr. Daniel Carroll from the Denver Seminary came to Mission Adelante to talk about the issue of immigration in the Christian perspective. He gave us some insight on this issue and what we should do as Christians to not let the media, politics or selfish ambitions take hold of what is truth and what is right for a group of people that should be loved.
Dr. Carroll wrote the book "Christians at the Border" which is a great resource for immigration and where its in the Bible. Its a comprehensive study that's practical and thought provoking of immigration in the Old and New Testament.
There was so many mind blowing things talking to Danny and hearing his experiences as a Guatamalen-American man. I never realized how my perspective was so narrow-minded.
Leviticus 19:33-34 says: 'When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.
That is a COMMAND! To love the alien who is living in our land.
Let us not grow naive or forgetful of what God has called us to do.
These immigrants that we hear about that are 'taking over' our country are just as much human as us. These immigrants who can be stereotyped as criminals, gangsters or uneducated are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters who can benefit our society and really Bibically be more opportunities to share the Gospel.
We need to think Bibically and Christ-like.
When I think of immigrants-I think of Nayeli, Iris, Salma, Edgar, Jaime, Odalis, Perla, Raul, Mayra, Luz, Meme, Felipe, Marta, Fernando, Alejandro. These are the immigrants that I am trying to follow the commandment Levitcus 19:33-34 with many of these immigrants (many of them undocumented and illegal) I am called to love them, not to know if they are supposed to be here.
Dr. Carroll wrote the book "Christians at the Border" which is a great resource for immigration and where its in the Bible. Its a comprehensive study that's practical and thought provoking of immigration in the Old and New Testament.
There was so many mind blowing things talking to Danny and hearing his experiences as a Guatamalen-American man. I never realized how my perspective was so narrow-minded.
Leviticus 19:33-34 says: 'When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.
That is a COMMAND! To love the alien who is living in our land.
Let us not grow naive or forgetful of what God has called us to do.
These immigrants that we hear about that are 'taking over' our country are just as much human as us. These immigrants who can be stereotyped as criminals, gangsters or uneducated are mothers, fathers, sons, daughters who can benefit our society and really Bibically be more opportunities to share the Gospel.
We need to think Bibically and Christ-like.
When I think of immigrants-I think of Nayeli, Iris, Salma, Edgar, Jaime, Odalis, Perla, Raul, Mayra, Luz, Meme, Felipe, Marta, Fernando, Alejandro. These are the immigrants that I am trying to follow the commandment Levitcus 19:33-34 with many of these immigrants (many of them undocumented and illegal) I am called to love them, not to know if they are supposed to be here.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Summer Spotlight --- Mission Adelante group 1 (the little littles)
So I have decided that I want to highlight some of the groups that I have been serving for the summer so you can get a sneak peak of the things that I do on a day to day basis.
The first thing that I want to spotlight on is the little littles that me and Molly Merrick teach each week for our kid outreach bible study. We are with the littlest kids who come to kids Adelante. Kids Adelante is our weekly time where 70+ kids ranging from 5 to 12 year olds (Pre K-7th grade) come we sing, play games and follow a expository curriculum where we go through the entire Bible in a year. It is a great time where about 20 volunteers love on the kids for a couple of hours and teach them about the Love of Christ and what we have when we follow HIM!
Molly and I have group 1 (there are 7 groups total) and I just love these little kiddos! we have generally 9-12 kids on any given week and have been doing the curriculum a little bit more differently than the other kids. It is story based lessons that focus on Creation, the fall of man and our redemption. We have been teaching them concepts such as trusting God, what sin can do in our lives and how we need Jesus. Its been so great learning with these kids and having a great time seeing them grow, learning memory verses and key Bible Stories.
Throughout the summer, I have really experienced the Lord's favor be poured out onto these kids.
On other news:
Prayer request for 2 of the Teenage girls that I have been mentoring and ministering to, 2 cousins (Nayeli and Salma) had a tragic death in the family (Nayeli's Dad, and Salma's Uncle) please be praying for these families as it has affected many people, including Nayeli's three little brothers who no longer have a father. Pray for protection of the families because Nayeli and Salma's mothers have traveled to Mexico where the death took place. Pray for protection of the kids who have stayed here with limited supervision and other circumstances that complicate this matter. It is so hard to see the community hurt so much from tragic circumstances. Please pray with me as these families grief and try to see the joy that the Lord can give.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Midterm
I have been featured with Andrw at the Mission Adelante official blog!
http://www.missionadelante.blogspot.com/
These past 5 weeks have been incredible full of memories and growth day after day. We just finished our midterm break and Andrew and I went to a music festival called Cornerstone in Bushnell, Illinois, about 6 hours away from KCK. It was a great break to the busy city life. We lived in a tent for about 4 days among thousands of other patrons of music. It was completely in the middle of nowhere, with nothing except encouraging music and speakers. We just got back yesterday, just in time for 4th of July festivities at mission adelante!
The previous weeks, we have done 3 VBS camps, one of the them being a soccer camp for both for the Bhutanese refugees and the Hispanic kids. There have been so many other highlights that I would love to mention, but processing them in my brain seems daunting and long, so I will save you the time.
One thing that I would like to share is the Teen girl's Bible Study that I have been helping lead. We have been reading and discussing from the book, Lies Young Women Believe, and the Truth that sets them Free. Megan, Brooke and I (Teens Adelante people) have been preparing for this study since the end of the last trimester in April and have been extremely excited to finally kick off last tuesday. I led the first study talking about lies about God. Preparing for it, I knew it was going to go deep and personal with some of the discussion. One being that we shouldn't look at God as our earthly father, many of the girls in the study don't even even know their dads, so I knew talking about it, we would come across words such as bitter, resent, even hate. And we did. it was so amazing to break some of the lies that these girls look at God like and really find God to be not a distant, far away being who is like our fathers who doesn't know us or love us conditionally, but something much more, more real, close and perfect. It was so amazing and I am still trying to process what all came about from this time with the girls. It was more deep than I ever thought I had planned. God is working in these girls lives and its amazing to be present for it!
I am overwhelmed by the encouragement and the growth that I have received from the staff at MA, its great working here. Its great living in KCK and I feel right at home. I want to continue to remain in this community, live and dwell with these great people that I now call my friends. We will see what happens in the fall with opportunities on remaining to live here as I finish my last year with school and student teaching at the neighborhood school that so many of the Mission Adelante Kids go to! (I am so excited for this!!)
This coming week, I plan on doing some great contact work with some neighborhood kids, like swimming, going to Deanna Rose farm and treating some kids to yummy ice cream or lunch.
Continue to pray for the willingness to reach more of the teens that have been rather unreachable and hard to really have deep, intimate times with them this summer, also pray for the Girls Bible Study, pray that we continue to see more of the Lord's work during that time. ALso, pray that someone's heart will stir to help me raise support. I am behind in receiving my final $800 dollars or so and that I keep putting my hope in the lord that he will provide.
Thank you readers for following me, praying for me and seeing the hope that I see for the KCK community.
Blessings to you all.
http://www.missionadelante.blogspot.com/
These past 5 weeks have been incredible full of memories and growth day after day. We just finished our midterm break and Andrew and I went to a music festival called Cornerstone in Bushnell, Illinois, about 6 hours away from KCK. It was a great break to the busy city life. We lived in a tent for about 4 days among thousands of other patrons of music. It was completely in the middle of nowhere, with nothing except encouraging music and speakers. We just got back yesterday, just in time for 4th of July festivities at mission adelante!
The previous weeks, we have done 3 VBS camps, one of the them being a soccer camp for both for the Bhutanese refugees and the Hispanic kids. There have been so many other highlights that I would love to mention, but processing them in my brain seems daunting and long, so I will save you the time.
One thing that I would like to share is the Teen girl's Bible Study that I have been helping lead. We have been reading and discussing from the book, Lies Young Women Believe, and the Truth that sets them Free. Megan, Brooke and I (Teens Adelante people) have been preparing for this study since the end of the last trimester in April and have been extremely excited to finally kick off last tuesday. I led the first study talking about lies about God. Preparing for it, I knew it was going to go deep and personal with some of the discussion. One being that we shouldn't look at God as our earthly father, many of the girls in the study don't even even know their dads, so I knew talking about it, we would come across words such as bitter, resent, even hate. And we did. it was so amazing to break some of the lies that these girls look at God like and really find God to be not a distant, far away being who is like our fathers who doesn't know us or love us conditionally, but something much more, more real, close and perfect. It was so amazing and I am still trying to process what all came about from this time with the girls. It was more deep than I ever thought I had planned. God is working in these girls lives and its amazing to be present for it!
I am overwhelmed by the encouragement and the growth that I have received from the staff at MA, its great working here. Its great living in KCK and I feel right at home. I want to continue to remain in this community, live and dwell with these great people that I now call my friends. We will see what happens in the fall with opportunities on remaining to live here as I finish my last year with school and student teaching at the neighborhood school that so many of the Mission Adelante Kids go to! (I am so excited for this!!)
This coming week, I plan on doing some great contact work with some neighborhood kids, like swimming, going to Deanna Rose farm and treating some kids to yummy ice cream or lunch.
Continue to pray for the willingness to reach more of the teens that have been rather unreachable and hard to really have deep, intimate times with them this summer, also pray for the Girls Bible Study, pray that we continue to see more of the Lord's work during that time. ALso, pray that someone's heart will stir to help me raise support. I am behind in receiving my final $800 dollars or so and that I keep putting my hope in the lord that he will provide.
Thank you readers for following me, praying for me and seeing the hope that I see for the KCK community.
Blessings to you all.
Friday, June 4, 2010
1st week done!
Wow. what a week I can't even think of what i have done these past 6 days of being in KCK, its been so much goodness! First was move-in, it was so stress-free because of Jarrett, Jason, and my sweet Andy and his brother Michael. I felt like i didn't even lift a finger! We got settled in, I met Jill the other intern and her mom. I was extremely excited to get to know her immediately from the time I met her. She seemed so awesome and on fire for the Lord, and to be right across from the hall from each other is such a blessing!!
So to tell you everything that I have done for the past 6 days I will give you a phrase of each day, either something that I experienced, felt, or saw. Let's see if I can do this.
Saturday 5/29: move-in, Welcome to KCK dinner at the Meeks. Met lots of families in the community!
Sunday 5/30: Orientation, Prayer, first Mission Adelante church service (all in Spanish-I don't know spanish, but it felt so powerful). It was overwhelming at first, but it is certainly a dream for me to learn spanish and be able to communicate with the people in this community.
Monday 5/31: Day off, memorial day in Lawrence, KS with Andrew. What a great refreshing, restful time before we hit the ground running the next day.
Tuesday 6/1: passed out invitations to neighborhood kids, had lunch with staff at Mission Adelante and with some Shoal Creek Church folks at a neighborhood Mexican place. 1st day of VBS camp and had 75 Hispanic and Nepali kids show up for a great time. Pretty stressful day, but was excited to start officially!
Wed 6/2: Worked hard around the mission cleaning stuff and having devotional times. Had a some great contact work with 2 teens that I will be working with this summer, Helen and Iris, took them to the local Palenteria (ice cream place). Then had day 2 of VBS. just as fun with lots of fun games, dancing and soccer!!
Thursday 6/3: Started out with a great devotional time for 2 hours-I love having all of this time just to spend with the Lord. Then we discussed a book that we are all reading together with the staff-the Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. Such a great time, then work more around the Mission. Then on to our Last day of VBS with the kids. It was a great end to a first week on the job.
Friday 6/4: Sabbath! Running errands and relaxing on this hot summer day.
Ok, that was harder than I thought! It seriously has been a huge culture shock, and living in KCK is more awesome that I expected. From the food, to the kids, to the people that I am living with. I LOVE it!
Continue to pray for me and the other interns, we are all exhausted, physically, spiritually, mentally, etc... and we are wanting to continue to be servants to anywhere that we are at. Pray for us, our unity with each other and the staff and that we are able to have a great contact time with the kids. Specifically pray for my relationship with Helen and Iris, 2 teenage sisters who God has really been calling me to and pray that I continue to learn spanish for it is a big passion of mine to learn and communicate with the families.
Also, pray that I finish up my support raising, I have just a little bit left, but I want to be able to be completely supported by the end of this month.
thank you all who have been praying, following and supporting me through finances and prayer for this adventure. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you :)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
4 Days till Move day
I am anxiously getting excited for Saturday! Move day to KCK! I got all of the info for what our schedule will be this weekend with orientation and getting everything ready to go!
I just got my support update as well. I have $985 left to support. I am praying that the Lord will stir some people in their hearts to help me be fully supported.
ready to leave Lee's Summit suburb and go into the 'hood of KCK.
Now onto packing and cleaning and getting everything ready for a new change!
Continue to pray for Andrew and I's hearts. Pray for our relationship that we will be Holy and Pure and be good examples to the community of KCK. Pray that we will remain in the Lord's favor and continue to be full of His Spirit.
Fighting for the Lord in this dark place!
I just got my support update as well. I have $985 left to support. I am praying that the Lord will stir some people in their hearts to help me be fully supported.
ready to leave Lee's Summit suburb and go into the 'hood of KCK.
Now onto packing and cleaning and getting everything ready for a new change!
Continue to pray for Andrew and I's hearts. Pray for our relationship that we will be Holy and Pure and be good examples to the community of KCK. Pray that we will remain in the Lord's favor and continue to be full of His Spirit.
Fighting for the Lord in this dark place!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Birthday!!
So I just had my birthday last Thursday. I honestly thought turning 22 wouldn't be any different than turning 21 and i wasn't super excited for it because I didn't have anything planned. Little did I know that the entire day-from dawn till dusk was going to be packed full of surprises and fun!!
Andrew Surprised me at 7am ---bright and early with a giant Christmas tree, him and a brand new fuji road bike that is awesome! Did I mention that it is BRIGHT YELLOW!---that is my favorite color of all time! He had got it custom built, with brand new paint job and everything. I am so thankful for him. He is such a blessing and such a joy and is very generous. I cried, I laughed and was so overwhelmed with his love! I ended up taking the day easy, visited my dad at his print shop with Andrew, ate lunch and road bikes with my sister and Andrew with my new bike! The bike was SOOO fast. I loved it...I felt like Dave from Breaking away.
Then I went to Loose park where I was surprised with a professional photographer, Andrew's great friend Isaac Bari! He came to take pictures of our matching fuji Bikes! It was the greatest part of the day--it was rainy all day, and then the sun managed to come out as we took pictures, it was beautiful.
The night wasn't over, we ate yummy food at Red Lobster and was sang to by the waiters there. Andrew and I shared some great food and cheesecake to top it off, I was so stuffed...
Then the finale of my birthday started, I was surprised with a huge party with all of our friends at Andrew's apartment and everyone was in on it! I was extremely blessed, there was a great cake for everyone and so many people came. I got some warm birthday wishes and was sung to with worship music and prayed over. I felt so blessed.
I feel so loved and God has certainly blessed me through all of these great people. My life is going great and I am so looking forward to all of the great things that are happening!
Less than 2 weeks till Andrew and I start our internship. God is preparing our hearts and we are getting more and more excited with working to KCK! I am looking forward to this experience and what we will be doing. Continue to pray for this summer and everything that will be going on!
Andrew Surprised me at 7am ---bright and early with a giant Christmas tree, him and a brand new fuji road bike that is awesome! Did I mention that it is BRIGHT YELLOW!---that is my favorite color of all time! He had got it custom built, with brand new paint job and everything. I am so thankful for him. He is such a blessing and such a joy and is very generous. I cried, I laughed and was so overwhelmed with his love! I ended up taking the day easy, visited my dad at his print shop with Andrew, ate lunch and road bikes with my sister and Andrew with my new bike! The bike was SOOO fast. I loved it...I felt like Dave from Breaking away.
Then I went to Loose park where I was surprised with a professional photographer, Andrew's great friend Isaac Bari! He came to take pictures of our matching fuji Bikes! It was the greatest part of the day--it was rainy all day, and then the sun managed to come out as we took pictures, it was beautiful.
The night wasn't over, we ate yummy food at Red Lobster and was sang to by the waiters there. Andrew and I shared some great food and cheesecake to top it off, I was so stuffed...
Then the finale of my birthday started, I was surprised with a huge party with all of our friends at Andrew's apartment and everyone was in on it! I was extremely blessed, there was a great cake for everyone and so many people came. I got some warm birthday wishes and was sung to with worship music and prayed over. I felt so blessed.
I feel so loved and God has certainly blessed me through all of these great people. My life is going great and I am so looking forward to all of the great things that are happening!
Less than 2 weeks till Andrew and I start our internship. God is preparing our hearts and we are getting more and more excited with working to KCK! I am looking forward to this experience and what we will be doing. Continue to pray for this summer and everything that will be going on!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Wild
For the past few days, I have been reading Wild at Heart by John Eldridge and at the same time Andrew is reading Captivating by John's wife, Stasi Eldridge. Learning about each other I think is so great for us especially with our courtship.
The Man's heart is so much different than the woman's heart and figuring out the differences for each other has really helped me serve, encourage, and love Andrew much more.
I have learned the Biblical meaning of masculinity and that my femininity allows men to be men.
I am looking forward to finishing the book and seeing more of Andrew and the other men in my life the way that God created them-WILD!
More on my book list:
My good friend Brooke recommended Waking the Dead also by John Eldridge, I want to finish Redeeming Love, and I want to read again some CS Lewis books that are such classics.
Are there any books that you recommend?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
beauty
I wish I can be more aware of what is around me. Sometimes I am so caught up in only just a tiny, minuscule percentage of what is going on and I am so small to really see more of what there really is.
I want to find beauty in what's broken. In the things that are ugly in this world. I want to not have a judgmental heart or a heart that compares myself to others.
I have come to realize that I am very narrow minded and don't know what beauty looks like. My skewed perspective of beauty comes from a lack of knowledge possibly, or a lack of sight...I don't know.
my words of describing this is so insignificant and poor.
I want to know true beauty. I want it to be the radiation of my heavenly daddy who gives it to me with his blessings, his promises, and truths.
Father, fill me with beauty. Let me see the beauty that you see. Not this world's beauty.
I want my heart to be forever changed.
I want to find beauty in what's broken. In the things that are ugly in this world. I want to not have a judgmental heart or a heart that compares myself to others.
I have come to realize that I am very narrow minded and don't know what beauty looks like. My skewed perspective of beauty comes from a lack of knowledge possibly, or a lack of sight...I don't know.
my words of describing this is so insignificant and poor.
I want to know true beauty. I want it to be the radiation of my heavenly daddy who gives it to me with his blessings, his promises, and truths.
Father, fill me with beauty. Let me see the beauty that you see. Not this world's beauty.
I want my heart to be forever changed.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
blessings
The love of the Lord and his blessings are everywhere, especially when you least expect it.
Story time!
So I was walking around downtown to the bank for work because I had to run an errand. It is about 4 blocks from my office to US Bank, and it is a beautiful day...as I step out of my building, I see this man who appeared to be homeless. He looked like he was wearing everything that he owned and looked very dirty. By the time I got to where he was, he was gone. The Lord suddenly just spoke to my heart and said, "Rachel, if you want to let me bless you today, you need serve and bless someone else". So I was like, "Ok God! I can smile for someone who looks like they need it and it will be real easy like that!"...no way. God's plan was different. So I just kept walking, and I continued to have that man who was right by my building on my mind...I kept seeing more and more brokenness on the streets and the amount of homeless people in this city.
Not until recently, have I realized the severity of this issue in KC, and other cities. Last year, I had the opportunity to serve at a shelter and serve dinner.The amounts of people (just men, because it was only a men's house) that came in through those doors were HUNGRY...not just like, they ate only earlier that day, but for many, it was their first wholesome meal that week. God has growing on my heart social justice and fighting for those who can't fight for themselves and so ever sense then, I have really been aware of the oppression and desperation in this city and how its everywhere....
So anyway, back to the story, I walked out of the bank and was headed back to my office. When all of the sudden, 2 men who appeared to be homeless come right in front of my path, one man kept on walking, and the other asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any cash on me but I asked if he was hungry and if I could get him and his friend some lunch. These two men were middle aged, very tired looking, dirty and hungry. So the guy who asked called his friend back to where we were and said, "Hey J.C! Come over here, this young girl is going to feed us!"...as soon as I heard that, i just knew this is going to be quite an experience.
One man's name was J.C. and the other, I couldn't remember. We walked to the Arcade, and i got them some burritos and a cookie. As we were waiting in line, J.C. told me this was his first meal since yesterday. I asked him how long he has been in KC and said for a while. He told me he lost his job a while ago and used to be a chef at Hope and Faith shelter...he was so honest with me, sharing what happened to his life and where he was at. and I just kept listening. Right there in line to get his burrito, he broke down crying and said this is the first thing that has made me smile in over a week. He told me I was his angel and he knew that God was providing. We both shared some tears, as I felt so humbled and inadequate to talk to this guy at all because of all the pain and suffering he was experiencing, but he felt so genuine and kind. I wanted to just sit on a park bench and share life with him because he seemed so great to talk to. We decided to sit a bus stop to eat and I asked if I could pray for them...J.C immediately agreed and told me that he wanted to pray for me first. His prayer brought me to tears and I felt so blessed.
Everything that he said was so from the spirit and I felt so much peace. He was like MY angel. I then prayed for him, he told me how grateful he was and the other man was so sweet giving me a giant hug. J.C then told me his story of being on the streets, getting into alcohol, drugs and gangs and basically shared me his entire testimony of how he has found faith...when has lost it all he found faith and saw God through his brokenness. After that, I told him that God's glory comes most in our weakness and brokennes. We both continued to share scripture and soon I had to leave to go back to work. He gave me a hug, asked me if he could pray for me again...It was by far one of the best blessings I have ever received---those 30 minutes that I took of what started to be an errand, became an act of obedience for the Lord that turned into a giant blessing that i will never forget.
Sooo just to let you know, the entire time, the Holy Spirit really did protect me, I made sure that I was not by myself and that i was in public sight.I felt safe, and so I don't want to share this and people get scared or concerned...I guess that's my disclaimer.
God is good. He blesses me through so many people---especially people that I would never think of.
Thank you Lord for your faithfulness, the ability to serve others and for the life that I am being led from you.
Story time!
So I was walking around downtown to the bank for work because I had to run an errand. It is about 4 blocks from my office to US Bank, and it is a beautiful day...as I step out of my building, I see this man who appeared to be homeless. He looked like he was wearing everything that he owned and looked very dirty. By the time I got to where he was, he was gone. The Lord suddenly just spoke to my heart and said, "Rachel, if you want to let me bless you today, you need serve and bless someone else". So I was like, "Ok God! I can smile for someone who looks like they need it and it will be real easy like that!"...no way. God's plan was different. So I just kept walking, and I continued to have that man who was right by my building on my mind...I kept seeing more and more brokenness on the streets and the amount of homeless people in this city.
Not until recently, have I realized the severity of this issue in KC, and other cities. Last year, I had the opportunity to serve at a shelter and serve dinner.The amounts of people (just men, because it was only a men's house) that came in through those doors were HUNGRY...not just like, they ate only earlier that day, but for many, it was their first wholesome meal that week. God has growing on my heart social justice and fighting for those who can't fight for themselves and so ever sense then, I have really been aware of the oppression and desperation in this city and how its everywhere....
So anyway, back to the story, I walked out of the bank and was headed back to my office. When all of the sudden, 2 men who appeared to be homeless come right in front of my path, one man kept on walking, and the other asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any cash on me but I asked if he was hungry and if I could get him and his friend some lunch. These two men were middle aged, very tired looking, dirty and hungry. So the guy who asked called his friend back to where we were and said, "Hey J.C! Come over here, this young girl is going to feed us!"...as soon as I heard that, i just knew this is going to be quite an experience.
One man's name was J.C. and the other, I couldn't remember. We walked to the Arcade, and i got them some burritos and a cookie. As we were waiting in line, J.C. told me this was his first meal since yesterday. I asked him how long he has been in KC and said for a while. He told me he lost his job a while ago and used to be a chef at Hope and Faith shelter...he was so honest with me, sharing what happened to his life and where he was at. and I just kept listening. Right there in line to get his burrito, he broke down crying and said this is the first thing that has made me smile in over a week. He told me I was his angel and he knew that God was providing. We both shared some tears, as I felt so humbled and inadequate to talk to this guy at all because of all the pain and suffering he was experiencing, but he felt so genuine and kind. I wanted to just sit on a park bench and share life with him because he seemed so great to talk to. We decided to sit a bus stop to eat and I asked if I could pray for them...J.C immediately agreed and told me that he wanted to pray for me first. His prayer brought me to tears and I felt so blessed.
Everything that he said was so from the spirit and I felt so much peace. He was like MY angel. I then prayed for him, he told me how grateful he was and the other man was so sweet giving me a giant hug. J.C then told me his story of being on the streets, getting into alcohol, drugs and gangs and basically shared me his entire testimony of how he has found faith...when has lost it all he found faith and saw God through his brokenness. After that, I told him that God's glory comes most in our weakness and brokennes. We both continued to share scripture and soon I had to leave to go back to work. He gave me a hug, asked me if he could pray for me again...It was by far one of the best blessings I have ever received---those 30 minutes that I took of what started to be an errand, became an act of obedience for the Lord that turned into a giant blessing that i will never forget.
Sooo just to let you know, the entire time, the Holy Spirit really did protect me, I made sure that I was not by myself and that i was in public sight.I felt safe, and so I don't want to share this and people get scared or concerned...I guess that's my disclaimer.
God is good. He blesses me through so many people---especially people that I would never think of.
Thank you Lord for your faithfulness, the ability to serve others and for the life that I am being led from you.
Friday, March 26, 2010
surprises
I have never been a risk taker, sometimes I pretend I am but frankly, I am a giant scaredy cat! So when it comes down to me breaking down some walls that I love being around, God does some big things.
I am about to step out into faith this summer and live in a community full of so much brokenness, despair and hate. One friend has told me we will be 'setting up tents near the gates of hell'. This area is Kansas City, Kansas. A very dark place in my city. I found this place a couple of years ago through my program at UMKC-Institute of Urban Education. And really found God calling my to KCK last summer when he was nudging that area in my heart through a friend who I have recently met and told me about Mission Adelante.
So through this journey of seeing the work of the Lord in Mission Adelante, and seeing myself and Andrew put our hearts there, I have decided to become an intern!
I will be living in that area and sharing my life with the people in that community while they will be as well.
This is a big step of faith for me financially because this was the summer that I was planning on working a bunch to save up so I wouldn't have to work the next 2 semesters and I have to raise support for this trip, but I have decided that this is much bigger and God will provide.
Pray for my heart to be prepared, pray for grace, love and faith to be increased and for the lives that will be touched this summer with everything.
I am so excited!!
I am about to step out into faith this summer and live in a community full of so much brokenness, despair and hate. One friend has told me we will be 'setting up tents near the gates of hell'. This area is Kansas City, Kansas. A very dark place in my city. I found this place a couple of years ago through my program at UMKC-Institute of Urban Education. And really found God calling my to KCK last summer when he was nudging that area in my heart through a friend who I have recently met and told me about Mission Adelante.
So through this journey of seeing the work of the Lord in Mission Adelante, and seeing myself and Andrew put our hearts there, I have decided to become an intern!
I will be living in that area and sharing my life with the people in that community while they will be as well.
This is a big step of faith for me financially because this was the summer that I was planning on working a bunch to save up so I wouldn't have to work the next 2 semesters and I have to raise support for this trip, but I have decided that this is much bigger and God will provide.
Pray for my heart to be prepared, pray for grace, love and faith to be increased and for the lives that will be touched this summer with everything.
I am so excited!!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
waiting
I will wait for You there
Down on my knees where I met You
Give You all of my cares
Find a grace to hold onto now
I’m calling for You
I will wait for You there
far from the world and it’s violence
It left broken and bare
I need to hear You in the silence now
I’m calling for You
And with outstretched arms
I will sing out melodies
And my beating heart
Will pour out a symphony
Hallelujah’s in the morning
Hallelujah’s in the night
I will wait for you as long as I have life
I will wait for You there
Down On my knees where I met you
Cause life is a war fought with tears
But You are the strength I hold onto now
I’m calling for you
~ Phil Wickham
I feel like I am waiting for so many things, and that I am so close to reaching to them...
being done with college
becoming a teacher
marrying Andrew
living with Andrew
bearing and caring for children
finding my ministry with Mission Adelante and Heartland.
God using me
doing something big
traveling to places that need Jesus
living a frugal, substantial life where I give up my worldly possessions.
being more like Jesus.
But these plans are not plans, unless they are in God's will, and only you Jesus I can wait on. Only you, I can put my hope and trust on you Lord.
I am being tested though, I am being hit with envy, jealousy and pure judgment because I don't have what others are getting around me. Lord purify my heart so I won't love hating and being angry with what I don't have.
Lord I need your strength.
Down on my knees where I met You
Give You all of my cares
Find a grace to hold onto now
I’m calling for You
I will wait for You there
far from the world and it’s violence
It left broken and bare
I need to hear You in the silence now
I’m calling for You
And with outstretched arms
I will sing out melodies
And my beating heart
Will pour out a symphony
Hallelujah’s in the morning
Hallelujah’s in the night
I will wait for you as long as I have life
I will wait for You there
Down On my knees where I met you
Cause life is a war fought with tears
But You are the strength I hold onto now
I’m calling for you
~ Phil Wickham
I feel like I am waiting for so many things, and that I am so close to reaching to them...
being done with college
becoming a teacher
marrying Andrew
living with Andrew
bearing and caring for children
finding my ministry with Mission Adelante and Heartland.
God using me
doing something big
traveling to places that need Jesus
living a frugal, substantial life where I give up my worldly possessions.
being more like Jesus.
But these plans are not plans, unless they are in God's will, and only you Jesus I can wait on. Only you, I can put my hope and trust on you Lord.
I am being tested though, I am being hit with envy, jealousy and pure judgment because I don't have what others are getting around me. Lord purify my heart so I won't love hating and being angry with what I don't have.
Lord I need your strength.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
What is it about me?
I feel like I have had many seasons in my life. Many that represent who I am today and who I am no longer today.
I think I change so much and so often, its hard to pin point one general thing about that has remained constant all through these years.
That even includes my faith and my relationship with Christ, Daily I have to remind myself the truths that hold me together without letting my own personal thoughts and questions take over.
This past year has been a year of change and purging for me..purging, meaning cleaning out the things in my life that hold me back. First that was one of my jobs, a church, my church duties, a college ministry, etc. etc...yet, I have been able because of no longer doing those, I have been able to gain so much more: time for myself and my studies, a new and exciting ministry in KCK, discovering new passions that can potentially be long-term, a new church, and new group of people that even though its hard to feel included, I am thankful for them.
I am not a failure for giving up, I am not a failure for redoing my life. I am being obedient and seeing what the Lord has been calling me to do for a long time. Its a new season...I am ready to open up the door to see what it entails!
I think I change so much and so often, its hard to pin point one general thing about that has remained constant all through these years.
That even includes my faith and my relationship with Christ, Daily I have to remind myself the truths that hold me together without letting my own personal thoughts and questions take over.
This past year has been a year of change and purging for me..purging, meaning cleaning out the things in my life that hold me back. First that was one of my jobs, a church, my church duties, a college ministry, etc. etc...yet, I have been able because of no longer doing those, I have been able to gain so much more: time for myself and my studies, a new and exciting ministry in KCK, discovering new passions that can potentially be long-term, a new church, and new group of people that even though its hard to feel included, I am thankful for them.
I am not a failure for giving up, I am not a failure for redoing my life. I am being obedient and seeing what the Lord has been calling me to do for a long time. Its a new season...I am ready to open up the door to see what it entails!
Monday, November 16, 2009
What am I working for?
I came across this thought from a sermon that i heard a while ago when i was in Springfield with Andy, and i just thought about it today-I think there is a special reason for this thought and the Lord is trying to get my attention...
Are we working to grow out of Jesus, to be as independent as possible, or are working to grow more into Jesus and his need for him?
Wow, what a thought this gave me the biggest epiphany. Since I have given my life, and surrendered my heart to the Lord, I tried to work my way out of needing God. That if I know this much, or if I did or didn't do this I wouldn't need God anymore.....but the closer and closer I thought I was thinking I didn't need him, the harder I fall. But when I hold onto my Jesus for everything at my hardest, he rescues me. He never fails me...we must hope in him.
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God. Psalm 43:5
The Holy Spirit is ever working in us, there's never a break for the Spirit. We shouldn't take a break on the Lord then. The Lord isn't giving up on us. We are free, we are delivered, even at our most broken...
Praising God again...thank you Lord for Saving me...thank you Jesus for redeeming me.
Are we working to grow out of Jesus, to be as independent as possible, or are working to grow more into Jesus and his need for him?
Wow, what a thought this gave me the biggest epiphany. Since I have given my life, and surrendered my heart to the Lord, I tried to work my way out of needing God. That if I know this much, or if I did or didn't do this I wouldn't need God anymore.....but the closer and closer I thought I was thinking I didn't need him, the harder I fall. But when I hold onto my Jesus for everything at my hardest, he rescues me. He never fails me...we must hope in him.
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God. Psalm 43:5
The Holy Spirit is ever working in us, there's never a break for the Spirit. We shouldn't take a break on the Lord then. The Lord isn't giving up on us. We are free, we are delivered, even at our most broken...
Praising God again...thank you Lord for Saving me...thank you Jesus for redeeming me.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
My thoughts for the day
I love.
I hate.
I sing.
I smile.
I cry.
I am.
I am not.
Is my life what I am?
The Bible is very clear that its not...
Luke 9:23-24
And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.
Deny myself. Deny all that I am. Live for Jesus as he lived and loved...not as I live or love.
Living a life that is revolutionary, loving a love that is revolutionary.
I hate.
I sing.
I smile.
I cry.
I am.
I am not.
Is my life what I am?
The Bible is very clear that its not...
Luke 9:23-24
And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.
Deny myself. Deny all that I am. Live for Jesus as he lived and loved...not as I live or love.
Living a life that is revolutionary, loving a love that is revolutionary.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Life as I know it....
I have realized that I numb myself to my surroundings way too easily. When I am at home, I turn off certain thoughts, ideas, goals, beliefs, etc when I am at school or work, I do the same. Why?!
We live in a world that is full of complacency. In my curriculum and assessment class, I have been developing my very first Curriculum Unit where I decide the topic, the assessments, the lessons/activities and etc..my topic that I put together was what makes up a hero. The essential question deals with the fact that you can't be normal to be a hero. That is the same when trying to live in the name of Christ.
More to come
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We live in a world that is full of complacency. In my curriculum and assessment class, I have been developing my very first Curriculum Unit where I decide the topic, the assessments, the lessons/activities and etc..my topic that I put together was what makes up a hero. The essential question deals with the fact that you can't be normal to be a hero. That is the same when trying to live in the name of Christ.
More to come
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monday, November 9, 2009
First post...hopefully its not the last post....
Life as I know it...
-my best friend sierra inspired me to do this, without her even knowing it. I think I hold in my words and thoughts too much. i need an outlet.
-so good even during the craziest, most confusing times
-I am excited to see what I can do with this blog. I think it can help me organize my thoughts, even if no one reads it. I definitely doing this for myself.
-I am striving to live for the Lord always. I sometimes don't know what that means, but that is what life is all about...a Great adventure!
-I am in love...more so than I ever thought I could.
-School is beginning to be overrated. When will it stop?!
-my best friend sierra inspired me to do this, without her even knowing it. I think I hold in my words and thoughts too much. i need an outlet.
-so good even during the craziest, most confusing times
-I am excited to see what I can do with this blog. I think it can help me organize my thoughts, even if no one reads it. I definitely doing this for myself.
-I am striving to live for the Lord always. I sometimes don't know what that means, but that is what life is all about...a Great adventure!
-I am in love...more so than I ever thought I could.
-School is beginning to be overrated. When will it stop?!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
